It’s not the presence of, but the presence of without, that yields the highest lesson.
This is most true when it comes to the people in our lives.
Our whole lives are centered on the other people that help make it our own. We learn everything from them. Love, Strength, Humor. We learn these things from their examples, in turn, they learn from ours.
However, we’ve all experienced loss off friends and family, for a multitude of different reasons. Why is it that this is when we most notice what they really meant to us? Sometimes it doesn’t occur right away, especially if the loss was the result of turmoil and parting ways. However, when time heals the wound, that’s when it painfully becomes clear, the void they left behind.
The presence of without is constant.
I remember when some of my closest friends left for college. I still have/had kept contact, but its worlds different from actual contact. I catch myself often, usually while conversing with others, missing people in certain situations.
The presence of without speaks volumes.
This seems to suggest that our relationships are not merely social interactions, but something more. Everybody has friends they feel certain ways around. I have friends I feel smart around, funny around, wise around, and so on. Those I’m closest too I feel all these things when I’m around them; in essence, I feel as myself. To me, this suggests that when we do lose relationships, we aren’t merely losing somebody we knew, we lose a piece of ourselves, our identity.
I think this happens with even small friendships. How many times have you run into somebody you’ve known as a friend, spent some time reminiscing, and said something to the effect of, "I miss having them around" or "I forgot how motherfucking-kickass-as-all-hell-that-motherfucker-son-of-a-bitch was"? That shows a void was left when ways were parted however when, it just wasn’t noticed until you were reminded of it.
The presence of without effects all.
I believe this happens too when somebody is still physically present; you just feel they have "changed". I believe this has some way occurred to everyone as well. This probably happens for a number of reasons. It might be that their dispositions truly have changed. However, it might also purely be an "eye of the beholder" issue. Maybe your own position has changed in a way that this person is made to seem different to you, when it was actually your own change you aren’t accounting for. Never the less, when your relationship changes with someone for the worst, it’s almost as bad as losing them entirely. You are constantly reminded of what it used to be like, and it’s a rarity to adjust to the change.
The presence of without invokes change.
The presence of without isn’t anymore stronger than when you lose someone so close to you that they are piece of your essence itself. Struggle follows. The steps of grieving commence. These things happen in so many ways; everyone one of them dramatic and painful. We’ve all experienced losses like this. To have is to live. Like death and taxes. And by death, it doesn’t only pertain to the physical. Sometimes, the fact that you live on without them and they live on without is you is the harder death to bear.
However, I feel nothing is more essential than going through experiences such as these in life. These bear the hardest lessons, but the greatest rewards. When someone close dies, you are left behind as a piece, a legacy. Your life carries more meaning; you are living for you, but also them as well. Their essence becomes a piece of you.
When you lose a relationship, a different struggle ensues. How do you fill a void within yourself? The only way is to struggle through it. Through struggle, comes experience. Through experience, comes knowledge. Through knowledge, comes wisdom. Sometimes the void is never truly filled, just covered. The only solace you receive is that it made you stronger somehow, and you can learn from the mistakes. Sometimes, people never recover and are distrusting of bringing anybody close again. Unfortunately, this seems to be the more common case in life.
I’ll never forget any of the people that have shaped my life, whether they are still with me today or not. In recollection, I can say I miss everyone in some way or another. However, this is how it should be. After all, the truth is, you can never go back.
The presence of without yields the highest lesson.
This is most true when it comes to the people in our lives.
Our whole lives are centered on the other people that help make it our own. We learn everything from them. Love, Strength, Humor. We learn these things from their examples, in turn, they learn from ours.
However, we’ve all experienced loss off friends and family, for a multitude of different reasons. Why is it that this is when we most notice what they really meant to us? Sometimes it doesn’t occur right away, especially if the loss was the result of turmoil and parting ways. However, when time heals the wound, that’s when it painfully becomes clear, the void they left behind.
The presence of without is constant.
I remember when some of my closest friends left for college. I still have/had kept contact, but its worlds different from actual contact. I catch myself often, usually while conversing with others, missing people in certain situations.
The presence of without speaks volumes.
This seems to suggest that our relationships are not merely social interactions, but something more. Everybody has friends they feel certain ways around. I have friends I feel smart around, funny around, wise around, and so on. Those I’m closest too I feel all these things when I’m around them; in essence, I feel as myself. To me, this suggests that when we do lose relationships, we aren’t merely losing somebody we knew, we lose a piece of ourselves, our identity.
I think this happens with even small friendships. How many times have you run into somebody you’ve known as a friend, spent some time reminiscing, and said something to the effect of, "I miss having them around" or "I forgot how motherfucking-kickass-as-all-hell-that-motherfucker-son-of-a-bitch was"? That shows a void was left when ways were parted however when, it just wasn’t noticed until you were reminded of it.
The presence of without effects all.
I believe this happens too when somebody is still physically present; you just feel they have "changed". I believe this has some way occurred to everyone as well. This probably happens for a number of reasons. It might be that their dispositions truly have changed. However, it might also purely be an "eye of the beholder" issue. Maybe your own position has changed in a way that this person is made to seem different to you, when it was actually your own change you aren’t accounting for. Never the less, when your relationship changes with someone for the worst, it’s almost as bad as losing them entirely. You are constantly reminded of what it used to be like, and it’s a rarity to adjust to the change.
The presence of without invokes change.
The presence of without isn’t anymore stronger than when you lose someone so close to you that they are piece of your essence itself. Struggle follows. The steps of grieving commence. These things happen in so many ways; everyone one of them dramatic and painful. We’ve all experienced losses like this. To have is to live. Like death and taxes. And by death, it doesn’t only pertain to the physical. Sometimes, the fact that you live on without them and they live on without is you is the harder death to bear.
However, I feel nothing is more essential than going through experiences such as these in life. These bear the hardest lessons, but the greatest rewards. When someone close dies, you are left behind as a piece, a legacy. Your life carries more meaning; you are living for you, but also them as well. Their essence becomes a piece of you.
When you lose a relationship, a different struggle ensues. How do you fill a void within yourself? The only way is to struggle through it. Through struggle, comes experience. Through experience, comes knowledge. Through knowledge, comes wisdom. Sometimes the void is never truly filled, just covered. The only solace you receive is that it made you stronger somehow, and you can learn from the mistakes. Sometimes, people never recover and are distrusting of bringing anybody close again. Unfortunately, this seems to be the more common case in life.
I’ll never forget any of the people that have shaped my life, whether they are still with me today or not. In recollection, I can say I miss everyone in some way or another. However, this is how it should be. After all, the truth is, you can never go back.
The presence of without yields the highest lesson.
I really love that you are able to take thoughts that everyone has had and make something of them...like breaking it down and examining every angle. It's pretty much awesome.
ReplyDeleteI damn near cried to this
ReplyDeleteits interesting reading your thoughts as my own. If you as a writer, write something that pulls any sort of emotion out of the reader then you know you have something special. very intense post... i feel like i need to meditate
ReplyDelete